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Coping with the death of a loved one


The death of someone close to us can be one of the hardest things we ever to go through. Whether it’s expected or not, it can affect us in many different ways. Just five months after starting The Blair Academy, Charlie suffered the loss of her Nanny Doreen – the inspiration behind the venture. Her grieving process was tough.


Grief is very personal and there’s no right or wrong way to deal with losing someone you love. It can take some time to come to terms with how you feel, and often, speaking to someone about it is often the best way to start feeling better.


Grief is natural, but how you feel might me influenced by several things – such as your personality, your beliefs, your relationship with the person, and how they died. The emotions you experience as you grieve can be intense and there may be some days where you cope better.


Numb


After a loved one dies, you might feel a sense of numbness and disbelief.


Empty and Sad


Feelings of emptiness and sadness may come in waves and some days may feel more intense than others. It’s during this period of sadness that some healing can take place, even if it doesn’t feel this way.


Angry and hostile


You may feel angry with the person who’s died for leaving you. You might also feel angry at yourself – questioning if you could have done more, or regretting things you said or did. You might feel anger at those around you for not understanding, or you may not even know what your anger is directed towards.


Afraid


Fear and anxiety are natural emotions to experience after a bereavement. You may feel particularly anxious about what’s to come, or losing another person. Talking to someone about how you’re feeling is often a good place to start


Guilty


It’s common to feel a sense of guilt when someone you’re close to dies. Try not to be too hard on yourself or anyone else. With time, you’re likely to reach some acceptance of what happened and move forwards with positive memories.






Relieved


The reasons why people feel relieved after a death are very individual to them. It’s nothing to feel guilty about and its normal to feel this way.


Isolated


Losing someone can feel very lonely. If you can, talk to others about how you’re feeling and try to stay connected to friends and family.



Looking after yourself

Grieving can have a physical impact as well as an emotional one. It’s important to do what you can to continue to look after yourself.


· Ensure you’re getting some rest.

· Try to eat and drink regularly, even if you’ve lost your appetite.

· Be careful not to misuse alcohol.

· Try noy to neglect your care needs.

· Stay connected with friends and loved ones.

· You may find comfort in a support group with people who have been in your position


Useful organisations

Age UK

At A Loss

Cruse Bereavement Care

Lifeline

Mind

National Bereavement services

Samaritans

The Compassionate Friends

The Good Grief Trust



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